Lonely, Are You? Let’s Talk About That.

On stigma, sex, and why asking for connection shouldn’t feel like a confession

There’s this moment that happens more often than you might think.

The door has just closed behind them. They’ve made it in, finally. We’re standing there, face to face. They’ve worked out their opening banter in the car, the casual look practiced in the lift. They’re holding their breath a bit. I can feel it. The tension, the hesitation, the weight of whatever they had to carry to get here.

Sometimes, they try to cover it with a joke. Sometimes, they try to rush past it.

But often quietly, almost like it slips out without permission, they’ll say something like:

“I’ve never done this before.”

“This isn’t really me.”

“I’m sorry if this is weird.”

It’s not weird.

It’s human.

And honestly, what does “this isn’t really me” even mean?

It's connection. And it’s one of the most straightforward, grown-up things you can do: give yourself the green light to meet a sex worker. No mind games. No dating app disasters. Sex Workers are service providers… service providers offer something that meets a need. Intimacy is a real and very important need.

The Lonely Epidemic (We Just Don’t Talk About It)

Loneliness is everywhere. I wish we could loosen up and be a bit more honest about that.

We talk about it like it’s something that happens to “other people”—older folks, single people, shut-ins. But in reality? It’s happening in big houses with family photos on the walls. In crowded clubs. In workspaces full of forced laughs and Slack notifications. In high-functioning, successful people who tick all the boxes… except the intimacy one.

Loneliness isn’t just about being alone. It’s about not feeling met. Not feeling seen. Not feeling touched. And yes, I mean that in every sense.

Wanting Touch Doesn’t Make You Pathetic

This one’s important.

Somewhere along the way, we started treating sexual and emotional needs like they were weaknesses. Like if you want to be held or kissed, or looked at like you matter you must be needy. Or desperate. Or broken. That’s a big bag of bollocks in my opinion.

Your body is wired for touch and your nervous system literally needs it, touch helps us regulate. The same way food fuels your body and sleep repairs it. You wouldn’t starve yourself on purpose.

You wouldn’t shame someone for needing food or sleep. So why shame yourself for needing intimacy?

The Shame Layer

And yet.

Shame creeps in. Especially for men, especially in places like Australia and the UK where there’s still a heavy “pull your socks up” culture around emotional needs.

The moment someone considers seeing a sex worker, that shame layer often rises up like a defensive wall. It sounds like:

“Am I a creep for wanting this?”“Is it pathetic to pay for connection?”“What if she thinks I’m weird?”“Shouldn’t I just be able to deal with this on my own?”

Here’s what I say to that:

What if meeting your needs clearly, respectfully, safely is actually one of the most grounded, grown-up things you can do?

You’re not using anyone. You’re not skipping a step. You’re not failing at relationships.

You’re choosing a moment of real, intentional connection.

And there’s nothing shameful about that.

So Why Do People Come to See Me?

They come for different reasons, but a lot of them share a common thread: they want to feel like themselves again. Or like a version of themselves they haven’t met yet.

Some come after divorce. After years of sexless marriage. After grief. After trauma. After realising they haven’t been touched in a decade. Or they've never been touched intimately…. ever.

Others come because they’re curious. Because they want to experience something new. They want to play in a space where they can drop the mask, societies expectations of this that and the other... and just be, without having to manage anyone else’s feelings.

Sometimes they come because it’s the only way they can get what they need.

And sometimes they come just because they want to. And that’s enough.

“But it’s not just about the sex…”

I hear this all the time. Usually said in a slightly guilty tone, as if wanting more than just a quick orgasm is somehow breaking the rules.

Of course it’s not just about the sex.

Sometimes we don’t even have sex, in the technical sense. Sometimes we talk. Touch. Play. Explore. Sometimes we share stories. Laugh. Lie tangled together listening to music.

I never start a booking ready to whip my knickers off. If I do that, I might miss cues that appear where a person needs something else before any shenanigans. They might not be ready to say what they need until they have a hot minute to unwind.

What people often want most is to feel safe in their desire. To feel wanted in return. To feel welcomed in all the parts they’ve kept hidden. They might not have the language to describe that, so picking up on non verbal cues is important.

Yes, there’s pleasure. Yes, there’s intensity. But there’s also something much simpler:

“You matter. You’re allowed to feel good.”

And that? That sticks around.

Getting Over the Hump (Not Like That… Yet)

So how do you actually get past the shame and make the leap?

Here’s what I’ve seen help:

1. Acknowledge the want

Stop pretending you don’t care. Stop playing it cool. The longer you deny the need, the more disconnected you feel. Wanting connection doesn’t make you weak. It makes you honest.

2. Get curious, not judgemental

Instead of asking “What’s wrong with me?” try: “What might feel good for me right now?” Open the door gently.

3. Start small

You don’t have to leap into a four-hour fantasy booking. Maybe you just reach out. Ask a question. Explore someone’s content. Let yourself flirt with the possibility.

4. Choose someone who makes you feel safe

Read their words. Feel their vibe. If their online presence breathes calm on your nervous system? That’s a good sign.

And when you do reach out? You don’t need a perfect script.

Try:

“Hi. I’ve never done this before and I’m a little nervous, but I think I’d really like to spend time with you. Would you be open to helping me figure out what kind of date might suit?”

That’s it. That’s plenty.

And When You Finally Arrive…

Here’s what I want you to know:

You don’t have to impress me. You don’t have to know exactly what you want. You don’t have to apologise for being nervous or a bit awkward or needing to sit on the edge of the bed for five minutes before we even touch.

Just be you. Let your body catch up. Let the moment build.

You’ll be surprised how quickly things soften when you’re not trying so hard to be someone else.

Loneliness Doesn’t Make You Broken. It Makes You Human.

You’re not the only one who’s Googled “sex worker near me” at 2am then shut the laptop in panic. You’re not the only one who’s contacted a sex worker then ghosted them because nerves got the better of you….. By the way, we would much rather you say “hey, i’ve had second thoughts because it’s new to me” then ghost us. 

In fact, I’ll bet my left boob (my right ones my favourite by the way) that you interact with people every day that have done the 2am thing.

You’re not the only one.

You’re just the one who’s finally ready to do something about it.

If this resonated with you—if your body’s buzzing or your chest feels full or there’s that little ache in your throat right now—don’t ignore it.

Pick up the phone. Send the message. Lock something in. Be it me or any other gorgeous escort out there.

The candles are already lit. The playlist’s humming. The white joggers polished.  My hands? Warm, and waiting to wander whenever you're ready.

With cheek and warmth,

Victoria English Rose 🌹

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Diary of a Bisexual MILF Escort | A NSFW Sexy Story

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