Sexuality & the Rubik’s Cube: Twisting Towards Your True Colours

Ah, the Rubik’s Cube... that innocent little block of colour that has confused and frustrated millions. To the untrained eye, it’s just a jumbled mess. But to the patient, curious, and slightly obsessive, it’s a puzzle worth devouring.

To me - Sexuality is rather like that.

Most of us start with our cube in chaos. Sides mixed, edges mismatched, perhaps a few corners that don’t quite fit. Then society tells us there’s only one “solved” version, we focus and focus on solving it the way we’ve been conditioned too, and if our cube doesn’t match that tidy little picture, we’ve done it wrong.

But here’s what I believe, my darling: it’s your cube….and you can play with it in whatever brings you joy!

Some will twist it experimentally, tentatively, a shy hand exploring possibilities. Some will patiently observe it before making their first move, while others will grab and spin with delicious abandon, eager to see what new patterns emerge. 

Sometimes you’ll line up two matching colours and feel an exhilarating thrill… only to discover the other side is now in complete disarray. I’m here to tell you that is so ok! In fact, it’s rather my point.

And here’s the juicy bit

It’s ok to not be in constant pursuit of the “perfect” cube. What is perfect anyway? In my opinion….. Jumbling around in the adventure of what excites you along the way is as perfect as it needs to be.

There will be seasons where you’re driven to align every colour with precise, satisfying symmetry, unravelling and reworking until it clicks. Other times, you’ll be perfectly content with your glorious mismatch, the kaleidoscope of possibility that comes with edges out of place and colours bleeding into each other. Both are beautiful. Both are necessary.

Everyone has their own Rubix Cube of desires

Over the years I’ve worked with men, women, and couples from all walks of life— each with their own Rubik’s Cube of desires. Some cubes have just one colour they long to bring to the surface; others are endlessly curious, spinning and turning to explore every combination imaginable. No two are ever the same, and that’s where the magic lives.

And sometimes — just sometimes — you might set the cube down entirely. Not out of defeat, but because it simply isn’t clicking, no matter how you twist it. This can mean stepping away from a certain fantasy, curiosity, partner, or phase that no longer feels aligned. Setting down the colourful little cube isn’t abandoning the pursuit. It’s not a failure. It’s an act of self-compassion, creating space for a new puzzle that may feel more delicious to play with….. you may abandon the cube completely, or dust it off again in the future. The beauty here is in releasing the pressure of solving it to open the door to more possibilities.

Your sexuality is alive.

Like the cube, your sexuality isn’t broken when it’s scrambled. It’s alive. Each turn, each new connection, each blush-worthy experiment is part of discovering which configurations make your heart thud, your breath catch, and your soul feel seen.

And the best part? Unlike the cube, there’s no single “solved” state you have to reach.

You can leave one face gloriously imperfect. You can design patterns no one else has tried. You can take it apart entirely, rearrange the pieces, and build something that’s utterly, deliciously yours.

So twist. Play. Rotate. Undo. Set it down if you must. Feel free to let the colours of your desire shift and shimmer until you’ve created a puzzle you that feels yummy for you in whatever phase of life you are at. It’s a colourful journey and is unique to you!

Warmly,

Victoria English Rose 🌹

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